I’ve come to realise recently that reflecting on happy memories doesn’t always bring the happiness you’d expect. There’s nothing nicer then reminiscing but when it becomes a burden to your current happiness that’s when it proves to be a problem.
One of the hardest things about moving forward whilst still temporarily hung up on the past is: accommodating change. Whilst accommodating this change you have to also accept that it won’t be the same. No matter how desperately you want things to continue down a similar path, it won’t. For one simple reason…
Over time people change, they experience things that make them different from who they used to be. You go through things yourself that might change the way in which you cope with certain situations. Or in my case completely avoid all sorts of confrontation at any regular hour of day. The change we experience when we are in new environments can sometimes mean that when moving forward together, with another person who has in return been through similar amaounds of change and found new ways to deal with it – it’s like moving forward with a different person entirely.
Does this mean that you’re not meant to be with that person?
I don’t think it does. Love is love and if it’s meant to be it will be. It shouldn’t be forced but equally it shouldn’t be easy.
Things change. You have two choices, obviously you can adapt and work towards a happier future together. Or you can accept that perhaps the idea of what you once longed for was nothing but a glamorous fantasy. See, that’s the tough one. As someone who’s been free to act a certain way for a long time, option one sometimes proves different.
Sacrificing certain parts of your morals and lifestyle to suit someone else doesn’t sound ideal. Love requires sacrifice, always. And that’s something you have to weigh up. Perseverance is important, especially when it involves someone or something you feel deeply for. Giving up is never an option no matter how many times I may feel like it’s the right thing to do.
Slow and steady wins the race.
And I suppose slow and steady will be the way in which I roll.
